going home

going home after a long time away is like trying to recall a dream. the details are hazy, but the feeling remains. as i walked through the streets of pune, i felt like a ghost hovering over my old life. everything looked smaller, yet the memories felt larger. i remembered the way the sunlight filtered through the trees on fc road, the smell of vada pav from the street vendor, the sound of the river flowing behind my house. but it was all tempered with a sense of distance, of removal. i had been away for so long, i wasn't sure if i still belonged here. i thought of all the times i had taken this city for granted, all the times i had complained about its chaos, its noise, its crowds. but now, as i walked through its streets, i felt a sense of nostalgia wash over me. i missed the way the city used to make me feel, the way it used to challenge me, the way it used to make me feel alive. as i walked, i stumbled upon a small cafe that used to be my favorite haunt. it was still there, still serving the same old coffee, still playing the same old music. i sat down at a table, feeling like a stranger in a familiar place. the waitress, an old woman with a kind face, came over to take my order. she recognized me, or at least, she pretended to. 'kaise ho, beta?' she asked, her voice warm and welcoming. i smiled, feeling a sense of comfort wash over me. 'main theek hun, aaji,' i replied, using the marathi phrase that i had grown up with. as i sipped my coffee, i felt a sense of peace settle over me. maybe, just maybe, i was home. but as i sat there, i couldn't shake off the feeling that something was off. the city had changed, i had changed, and yet, some things remained the same. i thought of all the people i used to know, all the friends i used to have. where were they now? what were they doing? as i sat there, lost in thought, i felt a tap on my shoulder. it was an old friend, someone i had lost touch with over the years. we hugged, we talked, we laughed. it was like no time had passed at all. as we parted ways, i felt a sense of gratitude wash over me. maybe, just maybe, i was home after all. but as i walked away, i couldn't help but feel a sense of disconnection. i had been away for so long, i wasn't sure if i still fit in. i thought of all the times i had tried to explain this city to others, all the times i had tried to convey its essence. but it's a city that defies explanation, a city that can only be experienced. as i walked, i felt the sun beating down on me, the sounds of the city swirling around me. i felt alive, i felt present, i felt home. but the feeling was fleeting, ephemeral. as the sun began to set, i knew it was time to leave. i hailed a rickshaw, gave the driver the address of my hotel. as we drove through the streets, i felt a sense of melancholy wash over me. i was leaving again, i was moving on. but as i looked out of the window, i saw the city in all its glory. the lights, the sounds, the smells. it was a city that was always on the move, always changing. and yet, it was a city that remained the same. as the rickshaw driver dropped me off at my hotel, i felt a sense of exhaustion wash over me. i had been walking for hours, i had been thinking for hours. but as i lay down on my bed, i felt a sense of peace settle over me. maybe, just maybe, i was home.