the word saudade

there's a word in portuguese, saudade, that doesn't translate to english. it's a feeling of longing, of melancholy, of nostalgia. it's the feeling you get when you're thinking of someone you love, but can't be with. it's the feeling of being homesick, of being away from the place you call home. i first heard the word from a friend who had spent time in goa. she described it as a feeling of sadness, but not just sadness. it was a feeling of being suspended between two worlds, two emotions. it was a feeling of being torn between the past and the present, between what could have been and what is. as i thought about the word, i realized that it was a feeling i knew well. it was the feeling i got when i thought of my childhood, of growing up in pune. it was the feeling i got when i thought of my grandparents, who had passed away. it was the feeling i got when i thought of the life i had left behind, the life i could have had. saudade is a word that doesn't translate, but it's a feeling that's universal. it's a feeling that's felt by everyone, at some point or the other. it's a feeling that's bittersweet, a feeling that's both painful and beautiful. as i sat there, thinking about the word, i felt a sense of connection to all the people who had felt this way. i felt a sense of connection to my friend, who had first told me about the word. i felt a sense of connection to the portuguese poets, who had written about saudade in their poems. saudade is a word that's hard to explain, but it's a feeling that's easy to understand. it's a feeling that's felt deep in the heart, a feeling that's hard to put into words. but it's a feeling that's worth acknowledging, worth exploring. it's a feeling that's a part of the human experience, a part of what makes us who we are.