in between identities

I find myself navigating the complexities of being an Indian Muslim, caught between the expectations of both my Indianness and Muslimness. People ask me about my experiences, as if I am a bridge between two worlds. I think of my childhood in Hyderabad, the smell of biryani and kebabs, the sound of the azan from the eidgah near my home. But I also think of the times I've been asked to explain myself, to defend my faith, to prove my patriotism. I don't know how to reconcile these two parts of myself, or if I even need to. I remember a cousin's wedding, where I almost didn't attend because I didn't know how to dress, how to behave. I felt like a stranger in my own family. I think of the Urdu words that feel so natural in my mouth, but sound foreign in an English sentence. I wonder if I am Indian enough, if I am Muslim enough.