waiting for a train

My brother is leaving. I stood in the doorway watching him pack. He had two suitcases and a backpack. The suitcases were old. The backpack was new. I thought about all the times we had taken the train together. The time we got lost in the city. The time we met at the station and went to the movies. The time it rained and we ran from the platform to the car. Now he is leaving and I am staying. I am not sure what to say. I handed him a sandwich I made. He took it and put it in his backpack. I said be careful. He said I will. We stood there for a moment. Then he picked up his suitcases and we walked to the station. The train was late. We stood on the platform and waited. I thought about all the things I wanted to say. But I didn't say them. The train came and he got on. I watched as it pulled out of the station. I felt a lump in my throat. I walked back home and made some tea. I sat down and stared out the window. I thought about my brother and where he was going. I thought about all the times we had been apart. I thought about the time we would be apart now. The tea got cold. I got up and made some more. I sat down and stared out the window again. The sky was gray. The trees were bare. The wind was blowing. I felt a sense of emptiness. I didn't know what to do with it. So I just sat there. I started thinking about our childhood. About the games we played. About the fights we had. About the times we made up. I thought about our parents. About how they used to take us on trips. About how they used to read us stories. I thought about the house we grew up in. About the backyard. About the swing set. I thought about the time we moved away. About how I felt lost. About how my brother felt lost too. The tea got cold again. I got up and made some more. I sat down and stared out the window. The sky was still gray. The trees were still bare. The wind was still blowing. I felt the same sense of emptiness. But it was a little less now. I thought about my brother and where he was going. I thought about all the things he would see. All the things he would do. I thought about all the people he would meet. I thought about how he would change. How he would grow. I thought about how I would change. How I would grow. The tea was still warm. I drank it slowly. I sat there for a long time. I got up and walked around the house. I looked at all the rooms. I looked at all the furniture. I looked at all the memories. I thought about my brother and how he used to be. I thought about how he used to make me laugh. I thought about how he used to make me cry. I thought about how he used to be my best friend. I thought about how he still was. The sun started to set. I sat down on the couch. I stared out the window. The sky was still gray. The trees were still bare. The wind was still blowing. But it was a little warmer now. A little kinder. I felt a sense of peace. A sense of acceptance. I knew my brother was gone. But I also knew he would come back. And when he did. We would sit on the couch together. And stare out the window. And remember all the times we had been apart. And all the times we had been together.