a low-grade presence

i miss him, without grief. it's a low-grade presence, a hum in the background. a feeling, that's always there, but never overwhelming. it's like the smell of old books, or the taste of chai from a street vendor. it's familiar, and comforting, and slightly nostalgic. i find myself thinking of him, at odd moments. when i'm walking down FC road, or eating a plate of pani puri. it's a thought, that's not quite a thought. more a sensation, a feeling. a reminder, that he's not here, but not a painful one. it's a feeling, that i've grown accustomed to. a feeling, that i've learned to live with. and it's not just him, it's the idea of him. the idea, of what we had, of what we shared. the memories, the laughter, the silences. it's all still here, a low-grade presence, a hum in the background. a reminder, of what's been lost, but also of what's been gained. a reminder, of the complexity, of human emotions. and the way, they can be both painful, and comforting, at the same time.